***** A Day in the Life of a Grad Student *****

6:30am  Wakeup and lie awake in Bed
6:31    Realize you spent $18 on last night's dinner, means
        no eating outfor the next 6 weeks  
6:32    Hit snooze button.  Go back to sleep.
7:00    Wake up suddenly with heart in mouth when you realize
        you didn't hit the snooze button--you turned it off.  
7:01    fall asleep again.
7:44    Wake up with heart in mouth again.
7:45    Ready to go to school, will shave tommorrow, will eat
        early brunch at (Denny's/Penny's/Lenny's/Dinko's 
        whatever cafeteria).
8:03    Arrive at school
        Realize your  officemate arrived earlier today 
        must have got more work done
8:04    Pass by Advisor's office, chat with Secretary to 
        find out if he is coming in today. He is, darn.   
        Need to start work on the draft due this afternoon.
8:15    Read electronic mail
8:20    Delete mail from students taking CMPSC201 
        regarding questions about the class.
        Hate your TA job.
        Depression: too much work to do today
9:00    For jumpstart: go to Pepsi machine.
9:05    Kick Pepsi machine; promise yourself to call up 
        the company and ask for your money back.
        Wonder why they would beleive you.
9:33    Start printing out loads of stuff that may be 
        vaguely related to your work.
9:41    Early morning stupefaction.
9:58    Finger everyone in the department and most people 
        half way around the world (using the "finger" 
        command, of course)
10:19   Feel sleepy, should not have stayed late playing 
        tetris last night
10:31   momentary panic attack!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:43   edit .plan file. write a shell program to 
        edit .plan more easily
10:59   Drop in at advisor's office and borrow something 
        you don't need & and kinda make him aware you are 
        working hard on your project.
11:05   perverted daydreams
11:11   read electronic news
        mid-morning yawn time 
11:34   Start typing junk at a very high key-in rate to 
        pretend you are working hard as your advisor passes 
        by from outside.
11:35   Press the BackSpace key for one and a half minutes
        until all the garbage you typed in is erased.
        Realize that you can type more than 256 characters 
        per half minute
11:41   Flirt with the new girl/guy in the department 
11:45   Print out some slides for afternoon's draft 
        + presentation
11:47   Print them again, you forgot to change the date 
        from last presentation
11:49   Print another copy in case this one gets lost
11:51   Completely forget about sueing the coffee-machine 
        company
12:15   Hunger pangs:
12:20   BigMac/Fries time       
        Drink a not-so-cold generic can of cola from your desk.
        Ch-Ching, you just saved 35 cents by buying bulk cola.
1:00    Group Meeting with advisor
1:14    Sudden awareness of one's shallowness
        Resentment towards officemate for sucking up to 
        your advisor 
        Get reminded by your advisor that you need to do 
        some more work for your literature survey.
1:51    Advisor hands you the reddened copy of your draft 
        for corrections
1:51:02      The 49 second urge to murder advisor begins!!
1:51:52      Realize that he controls your assistantship/grade/
             graduation possiblity/graduation date/all job 
             opportunities/ and the rest of your life.
1:52:53      Thank him
1:52:54      Thank yourself for not saying something stupid 
             to your advisor.
1:53:00      Splitting headache #1
1:59    Check electronic mail, don't reply though, you are 
        too busy to do that
2:06    More generic cola
2:17    Oh No, it is my turn to cook tonite :-( 
2:30    Sit through the class you were told to sit through
2:39    Look outside the window make unrealistic plans to 
        quit this degree program and take up a job.
2:48    More perverted day-dreams.
        Close the office door and open a few .gif files.
        Sharpen pencil
3:06    Worry about never graduating 
        Time to write a letter--NOT!  no time for that.
        Rearrange desk
        Call up bank; see if you have any money 
        Fear of losing aid next Fall 
        Read latex manuals to figure out how to put &$%&% 
        in %$^% format 
3:43    Watch the clock
        Make plans to do a all-nighter tonite
        Vow to watch only 2 TV programs 
4:58    Notice Advisor leave       
4:58:01      Sudden sense of freedom
             Go home for quick, short dinner break.
9:00pm  Come into the office
9:01pm  The hard working grad student you are, you have 
        to come to the office late at night to "get the 
        work done"
9:03    Check electronic mail
        Decide it would be a good time to attack those ftp 
        sites since network wont be loaded
        Run into "since network wont be loaded" traffic 
        and get the pictures into your machine.
        Compress all unwanted research/class directories to 
        make space.
        Back up all your pictures
10:11   Admire pictures
        Begin work; Realize you need references
        Realize its too late today to go to the library 
        Sudden feeling of having wasted the day 
10:49   Sudden feeling of possibly having to waste the night
        Decide to turn in early and come back very early 
        tommorrow morning
        Decide to play a Tetris on the system to put yourself 
        in a good mood.
11:15   Play game after game after game to improve your 
        score and get on the scoreboard. 
        Realize that your officemate is still at number 6,
        two notches above you on the scoreboard.
12:20   Play until you beat your officemate into the 7th place.
        A sense of achievment!! Yes, today was not wasted!!
        Return home to find your roommate watching David 
        Letterman reruns on NBC.  Tell him about the "hard 
        working grad student day you had"
        Discuss philosophy with roommate
1:09    Think about becoming a philosopher and dining 
        with 4 others (The Dining Philosophers problem, 
        hee hee :-)  (Comp Sci joke)
        Argue with him about politics, why people prefer 
        Japanese cars and whether it is better to set the 
        heat to "hot" or "cold" to defrost the windshields 
        faster.
1:49    Realize neither of you have bought milk today 
        Get reminded of the "too much milk problem"
2:04    Forget about getting up early. Turn the phone ringer 
        off and go to sleep.

(repeat)

        off and go to sleep.

(repeat)